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Home » How to Tell If You’re the Cause of Relationship Troubles

How to Tell If You’re the Cause of Relationship Troubles

    When it comes to interpersonal interactions, we often look outside of ourselves for answers. Many patients seek help from therapists after failing in love relationships. This is what they might say:

    • I have to call my partner, but he never picks up the phone right away. It irritates me.
    • We’ve been intimate for a while now, and everything seems to be going well.
    • My spouse seems uncomfortable with the idea of a long-term commitment; why is that?
    • I’m curious as to the identity of my ex’s current beau. If you know why my ex loved her more than me, please tell me.

    As humans, we can find great fulfilment and happiness in a loving relationship. On the other hand, it can quickly become poisonous. While everyone has good intentions of being a good partner, their actions may occasionally ruin the sweetness.

    Listed here are five situations in which you could unwittingly raise red flags in your relationship, along with suggestions for addressing each.

    Idealising a Potential Spouse Too Much

    When we over-idealise, we rewrite the truth of who the other person is and what’s taking place in the relationship to fit our wishes about how they should be. Over-romanticising a new potential relationship is normal, but it might be an indicator of other problems.

    A Failure to Value Oneself

    You run the risk of giving off an air of dominance to a potential spouse if you give in too easily to their every whim. This can make you less confident in yourself and your abilities to interact with them in a natural way, which can lower your attractiveness in their eyes. When faced with a moral dilemma in a romantic relationship, persons who have a healthy dose of self-respect are more likely to act by their values, according to research released in the Journal of Personality. As a result, both parties are more receptive to compromise and less likely to take offence at the other’s actions, which is beneficial to the relationship.

    Disgust With One’s Own Worth or Abilities

    Unsurprisingly, numerous studies have found that having a healthy sense of self-worth improves romantic partnerships. When you have poor self-esteem, you may project an image of needing your spouse to make you happy and validate you. This is not a desirable trait to portray in a romantic connection. You could wind yourself expecting too much too soon from the person who displays interest in you, leading to hurt feelings on both sides. If you have the propensity to idealise things too much, consider these strategies instead.

    Allow Them to Make an Investment

    A relationship can only thrive if both people genuinely care about one another. Your significant other should be open to public displays of affection if they value your relationship as much as you do. Allow them to put effort into the connection and give them a chance.

    Seek Out the Views of Others to Form an Informed Opinion

    As long as we don’t lose sight of what’s going on, daydreaming about our connections is fine. If you’re worried about falling in love with a figment of your imagination, it can help to get an objective perspective from someone else.

    Pursuing an Ex after a Breakup

    If you pursue someone who has recently ended a relationship, it may be an indication that you have trouble giving others the breathing room they occasionally need. If you’re trying to decide whether or not to invest in a recently single partner, you can look for these two indicators:

    Do They Have a Hard Time Forgetting Their Ex?

    Possible signs of an unhealed hurt or lingering memories from a past relationship include frequent references to an ex. If they continue to complain about their ex, it could be a sign that they aren’t over them or that they are unwilling to accept accountability for their role in the relationship’s problems.

    Do You Feel Like They’re Sending You Conflicting Messages?

    Be wary of a spouse who impresses you at the beginning of the relationship but lets you down later on. A person who has recently ended a relationship may be testing the waters to see if they are still compatible with someone. Be careful and attempt to gauge their level of interest before proceeding.

    Efforts to Bring About a Change in Them

    Do you accept your spouse exactly as they are or do you hope there is anything different about them? Is there anything you wish they had more of? Peace of mind? Do you hope they will buckle down and get some work done? Would you prefer they cut back on their spending?

    The human experience includes becoming irritated with your partner or spouse sometimes. But the foundation of long-lasting, healthy love is a mutual acceptance of each other’s flaws and quirks. To put it bluntly, if you’ve committed to someone you consider to be a “fixer-upper,” you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak.

    Do you find yourself getting frustrated with the actions of every other driver on the road, whether they’re moving faster or slower than you are? Feel like traffic would run more smoothly if you took charge and everyone listened to your suggestions?

    This is hardly a recipe for safe, enjoyable driving. This mentality is a recipe for anger and frustration on the road. Why? Even if it was true that you are a godlike intellect and that it would be in everyone’s best interest if you supervised all vehicles on the highways and roads (don’t worry, it isn’t real), you still are unable to regulate those other drivers. You have no control over what they do.

    You Also Have No Power to Influence Your Partner’s Actions

    Well, you do have a modicum of say, and you may express your preferences and wants. However, the only person you can truly exert control over is yourself, and even that is limited. Thus, you aren’t doing your relationship any favours if you spend a lot of time and effort attempting to alter your partner, whether by pestering them to obtain another job, encouraging them to get to the gym, or telling them why they shouldn’t be unhappy or angry.

    A Third-Place Finish: Having Sex and Anticipating Commitment

    The prevalence of purely sexual partnerships has grown in recent years. However, despite our best intentions, we may find ourselves hoping for more from these chance encounters than we bargained for.

    If you and your partner are already engaged in a “friend with benefits” or “sex without strings” arrangement, here are a few constructive ways to express your willingness to take things further:

    Try to Find Common Ground

    It’s a good sign that your spouse wants to spend time with you even when you’re not in the bedroom together. Couples that make time to spend playing together are more likely to remain a unit.

    Let It All Out!

    The two of you may be on the same page, so if that’s the case, it’s time to speak your mind. Express your hopes for the future of this connection and what you expect from them. Be accommodating to their wants and requirements and give them room to process the information.

    Plan Activities That Don’t Include the Bedroom

    Engaging in activities outside the bedroom and in bigger groups, such as coffee and a movie, can help you determine whether or not a person is “relationship material” quickly and easily. You’ll have a fresh perspective on one another as a result.

    See How Well You Can Express Yourself

    According to a new study published in Personal Relationships, couples who communicate effectively and work together are happier in their relationships. Put your ability to work together and solve problems to the test. If you and your partner feel that you connect on a deeper level, it may be a sign that there is more to this relationship than meets the eye.

    Keep in mind that it is never a good idea to utilise a sexual activity to force an already established relationship to progress to the next level. Don’t force anything; instead, err on the side of patience. If you feel that it has gone beyond the point of fixing it by yourself, visit this website to find out more about their relationship counselling options.